There’s been a recent trend where music club DJs take two or more songs and artfully combine them, creating a “new” hit called a mash-up.
Mixmaster Marcewicz thought that concept might work with movies as well. This first—of four—part deals with combining film plot elements. (The 2nd and 4th will be visually-oriented, merging two film posters together.)
So, for this debut article, I locked myself in the MovieFanFare editing room, cutting, splicing, and adding creative elements together to form a crazy, totally made-up new movie from two real existing films’ synopses (listed at the end of each). Here are the results…
Four Queens
Charlie Allnut is a hard-drinking boat captain who delivers supplies on a remote treacherous river. Against his better judgment he takes aboard three missionaries who have urgent business at river’s end. Little does he know that Bernadette, Tick, and Adam are actually disco lip-syncing transvestites who stage numerous glitzy musical numbers while on board. As the troupe swishes their way downstream the trip is laden with obstacles, fraught with danger and filled with Abba songs. Can Charlie and Bernadette overcome their prejudices and find true love? Or is their romance destined to be torpedoed?
• The African Queen; The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert
How They Met
Are Harry and Sally really so different? Or are they a mismatch made in heaven? That’s the premise of this enchanting rom-com. Precocious mage Harry Potter does not think that wizards & Muggles can simply be friends because magic will always get in the way. High-maintenance Sally Albright opines “Yes, magicians & Muggles can just be friends. I have a lot of sorcerer friends, and magic doesn’t get in the way.” Watch the two as they struggle in relationships with and without each other, and see if a New Year’s Eve reunion will produce a bewitching finale.
• When Harry Met Sally; The Harry Potter series
My Dinner with Andrea
Wallace Shawn sits down at a Greek diner with Andrea Martin discussing topics ranging from religion & politics to sports & pop culture. However, Wallace becomes increasingly agitated during the course of the meal. This is because whenever Andrea returns from using the restroom—which is often—she is dressed as a different character from her career, continuing the current conversation but speaking in her new persona whether it be Edith Prickley, Mojo, Pirini Scleroso, Frau Blücher, Wanda the Word Fairy, or Aunt Voula. See if Wallace sticks around long enough for the baklava.
• My Dinner with Andre; My Big Fat Greek Wedding; Young Frankenstein; SCTV; Sesame Street
Primates
After travelling a very great distance Dian Fossey, who has devoted her life to the study of simians, finally arrives to protect mountain gorillas from those who would kill and exploit them. While she busies herself setting up anti-poaching patrols scientist orangutan Dr. Zaius is astounded that a human can show so much intelligence. Subsequently he gets his ape pals Cornelias and Zira to gently try to convince her that they are just fine as rulers of the Earth. She rejects this opinion, angrily pushing them aside shouting “Take your stinking paws off me, you damn dirty ape!” Later, Fossey is found dead in the bedroom of her cabin clutching a cryptic note that ends with “Damn you. God damn you all to hell!”
• Gorillas in the Mist; Planet of the Apes
The Road to Las Vegas
Jon Favreau and Vince Vaughn are martini-swizzling pals living in L.A. Despondent over recent breakups, Vince convinces Mike to take a road trip with him to Las Vegas to hole up in the Rainman suite and hopefully meet beautiful babies. Along the way they pick up the gorgeous Dorothy Lamour, crack jokes, break the fourth wall, and engage in numerous song-and-dance routines. Let me tell you boy, these guys are real swingers! Vince: “So, what’d you think of that Dorothy girl?” Jon: “The whole Judy Garland thing kinda turned me on. Does that make me some kind of fag?” Vince: “No, baby. You’re money.”
• Swingers; The Road to Singapore
Shape Shifter
What happens when a demented serial killer switches bodies with his wallflower sister? Find out in this wacky horrific farce! Seems that little Michael Myers murdered his older sister on Halloween night. Now 15 years later he has escaped the sanitarium where he’s been held to pay a visit to his little sister, Laurie Strode. Leading a drab and repressed life, Laurie wishes that she could be able to just cut loose a little. And at that moment they switch bodies! She’ll feel how exhilarating it is to be completely amoral, with no sense of consequences for her evil deeds. Michael, on the other hand, will trade his cold stoicism for a frightened girl screaming into the night. Will they discover a mutual self-respect for each other and learn to laugh about it? Or will it end in bloodshed? Oh, the hilarity! Or something.
• Freaky Friday; Halloween