Let’s face it: for all their cuteness, babies can sometimes be a bit unsettling. I mean, they’re like tiny people who are always wanting something, and every once in a while you get the feeling there’s something going on behind those big smiles of theirs (If you think I’m the only person who feels this way, check out Ray Bradbury’s short story “Small Assassin”). Hollywood has been aware of this for a while as well, as movies and other media have featured some of the creepiest and most disturbing infants imaginable. Hold onto your pacifier and blankie, because we’re counting down alphabetically 10 of the most baleful bundles of joy to ever crawl their way across the silver screen:
The Brood (1979) – or, “There’s No Genesis Like Parthenogenesis.” The psychically generated psychopaths of David Cronenberg’s early shocker are toothless, navelless killing machines powered by their mother’s (Samantha Eggar) rage. While they’re not technically babies, they are certainly a good argument against having kids.
Dawn of the Dead (2004) – Zack Snyder’s remake of the 1979 George Romero classic hews pretty closely to its predecessor’s plot, but one major–and majorly unsettling–deviation is when a new character, injured mother-to-be Luda (Inna Korobkina), dies but reanimates long enough to give “birth” to a zombie baby.
Demon Seed (1977) – Is it human, machine, or both? When the sentient computer system known as Proteus holds its designer’s wife (Julie Christie) hostage in their high-tech home and manages to impregnate her so that it can live on in cybernetic form, the resultant “offspring” is the metallic monstrosity seen above. There’s a final twist or two ahead, but we won’t spoil them here.
Eraserhead (1978) – Remote-controlled puppet? Skinned rabbit? Embalmed calf fetus? To this day, director David Lynch hasn’t revealed what he used to create the unsettling infant that title protagonist Henry Spencer (Jack Nance) attempts to care for after its mother Mary (Charlotte Stewart), driven to hysterics by the “baby’s” incessant crying, leaves them.
The Fly (1986) – When Ronnie (Geena Davis) discovers she’s pregnant by boyfriend Seth Brundle (Jeff Goldblum) and that the conception may have occurred when he was already transforming into “Brundlefly,” she has a nightmare where she gives birth to a…well, let’s just say the Orkin man has his work cut out for him. Fun fact: the gynecologist in charge of delivering “Maggot Baby” is none other than director David Cronenberg.
It’s Alive (1974) – “There’s only one thing wrong with the Davis baby. It’s alive.” Truth to tell, there are several things wrong with the mutated monstrosity that suburban couple Frank (John P. Ryan) and Lenore (Sharon Farrell) Davis produce thanks to a pharmaceutical company’s mishaps, starting with the carnage it wreaks in the delivery room. Writer/director Larry Cohen’s satirical sci-fi/horror outing spawned two sequels itself.
Rosemary’s Baby (1968) – “He has his father’s eyes.” Sometimes the scariest things in movies are those the audience doesn’t see, as director Roman Polanski proved in the final scenes of this classic Satanic shocker. The reaction on Rosemary’s (Mia Farrow) face as she approaches the black bassinet says it all.
Son of the Mask (2005) – Well, no one ever said they all had to come from horror/sci-fi films, did they? And let’s face it, few things in the cinematic world are scarier than early CGI. Somebody stop this baby!
Toy Story 3 (2010) – Okay, so strictly speaking Big Baby is a doll, not an actual infant. But this towering toddler of few words does have “baby” as part of its moniker, and its appearance makes makes it (Did they ever say if BB is a boy or a girl? Discuss.) one of the more unsettling characters in the Toy Story franchise…and that’s saying something when you look back on Sid’s “creations” in the first film.
And, last but certainly not least…
Trainspotting (1996) – What more can you say? In director Danny Boyle’s raw and unflinching look at the horrors of drug addiction and the physical and psychological trauma that accompany it, the scene that perhaps got to more viewers than any other was when Renton (Ewan McGregor), was locked in his bedroom as he undergoes heroin withdrawal. Haunted by visions of his friends, Renton also hallucinates baby Dawn, who died from neglect while her mom Allison was getting high, crawling across the ceiling of his room and then turning her head à la Linda Blair in The Exorcist to look right at him. It’s enough to scare you off narcotics and babies simultaneously.
Can you think of a favorite scary movie infant that we overlooked? Let us know in the comments below.