One of the most prevalent–and long-standing–contentions in the Academy Award universe is that comedic films and performances often get short shrift from the Academy and its voters, who over the decades have shown a marked tendency to favor “important” social dramas and sweeping big-screen epics over pratfalls and gags. There certainly is some merit to this complaint; of the 86 Best Picture winners to date, there are only about a dozen or so that qualify as totally or primarily comedies (movies such as Going My Way, The Sting and The Artist, to name a few, blur the line a bit). Even after you toss in the nine films that are considered musicals, it’s pretty clear that Oscar likes his winners on the serious side, with just an occasional soupçon of whimsy, and the 2009 expansion of Best Picture nominees from five to as many as 10 has done little to change this.
Meanwhile, the Hollywood Foreign Press Association’s Golden Globe Awards, for years looked down upon as a less authoritative and more dubious prize (Pia Zadora’s Best New Star win and The Tourist’s Best Comedy nomination, anyone?), are now seen as the Oscars’ fresher, hipper alternative. One of the main reasons for this shift in attitude–aside from Tina Fey and Amy Poehler’s recent co-hosting romps–is that there are two Best Picture statues given out: one for Best Drama, the other for Musical or Comedy. The HFPA first split their award into dual categories back in 1951, when admittedly there were a lot more musicals being made. But in the years since, the presence of a separate award has allowed such favorite funny fare as Some Like It Hot, M*A*S*H, Arthur, Mrs. Doubtfire and The Hangover, among others, to come away with an accolade that the oh-so-staid Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences stood little chance of bestowing upon them.
Once upon a time, however, things might have been different. When the very first Academy Awards categories were devised and voted on in 1928, there were two separate ways of honoring a film. The Best Production (what we now call Best Picture) award–for “the most outstanding motion picture considering all elements that contribute to a picture’s greatness”–went to, as all good trivia buffs know, the silent WWI actioner Wings. For this inaugural year only, however, a special Artistic Quality of Production prize was presented to Fox for director F.W. Murnau’s moving drama Sunrise, saying the studio had “produced the most artistic, unique and/or original motion picture without reference to cost or magnitude.” There was also a one-and-done Comedy Direction trophy alongside the regular Best Director category, and special awards were given to Charlie Chaplin “for versatility and genius in writing, acting, directing and producing The Circus” and Warner Bros. for its game-changing “talkie” The Jazz Singer.
Over the next two to three years the major awards (minus Supporting Actor and Actress, created in 1936) would take the form we still know today, but clearly there was ample opportunity from the start for the Oscars to break off comedy films and “all-singing” musicals into their own competition and let the “outstanding” and “artistic” dramas do their own thing.
With this premise in mind, I would like to offer for your reading pleasure the way I imagine the Academy Awards might have gone if, starting in 1928, there had been two Best Picture awards à la the Golden Globes. Some of this is based on the actual Oscar (and Globe) nominations over time and some is, of course, pure speculation on my part (Did you ever try thinking like the AMPAS? It hurts!). Please note: Movies listed in italics were the actual Best Picture winner that year.
And the Best Picture Awards go to:
1927-28: Drama–Wings; Comedy/Musical–The Circus
1928-29: Drama–In Old Arizona; Comedy/Musical–The Broadway Melody
1929-30: Drama–All Quiet on the Western Front; Comedy/Musical–The Love Parade
1930-31: Drama–Cimarron; Comedy/Musical–The Front Page
1931-32: Drama–Grand Hotel; Comedy/Musical–City Lights
1932-33: Drama–Cavalcade; Comedy/Musical–42nd Street
1934: Drama–The Barretts of Wimpole Street; Comedy/Musical–It Happened One Night
1935: Drama–Mutiny on the Bounty; Comedy/Musical–A Midsummer Night’s Dream
1936: Drama–The Story of Louis Pasteur; Comedy/Musical–The Great Ziegfeld
1937: Drama–The Life of Emile Zola; Comedy/Musical–Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs
1938: Drama–The Adventures of Robin Hood; Comedy/Musical–You Can’t Take It with You
1939: Drama–Gone with the Wind; Comedy/Musical–Ninotchka
1940: Drama–Rebecca; Comedy/Musical–The Philadelphia Story
1941: Drama–How Green Was My Valley; Comedy/Musical–Here Comes Mr. Jordan
1942: Drama–Mrs. Miniver; Comedy/Musical–Yankee Doodle Dandy
1943: Drama–Casablanca; Comedy/Musical–Heaven Can Wait
1944: Drama–Gaslight; Comedy/Musical–Going My Way
1945: Drama–The Lost Weekend; Comedy/Musical–The Bells of St. Mary’s
1946: Drama–The Best Years of Our Lives; Comedy/Musical–Song of the South
1947: Drama–Gentleman’s Agreement; Comedy/Musical–Miracle on 34th Street
1948: Drama–Hamlet; Comedy/Musical–The Red Shoes
1949: Drama–All the King’s Men; Comedy/Musical–Adam’s Rib
1950: Drama–All About Eve; Comedy/Musical–Born Yesterday
1951: Drama–A Streetcar Named Desire; Comedy/Musical–An American in Paris
1952: Drama–The Greatest Show on Earth; Comedy/Musical–Singin’ in the Rain
1953: Drama–From Here to Eternity; Comedy/Musical–Roman Holiday
1954: Drama–On the Waterfront; Comedy/Musical–A Star Is Born
1955: Drama–Marty; Comedy/Musical–Mister Roberts
1956: Drama–The Ten Commandments; Comedy/Musical–Around the World in 80 Days
1957: Drama–The Bridge on the River Kwai; Comedy/Musical–The Pajama Game
1958: Drama–The Defiant Ones; Comedy/Musical–Gigi
1959: Drama–Ben-Hur; Comedy/Musical–Some Like It Hot
1960: Drama–Elmer Gantry; Comedy/Musical–The Apartment
1961: Drama–Judgment at Nuremberg; Comedy/Musical–West Side Story
1962: Drama–Lawrence of Arabia; Comedy/Musical–The Music Man
1963: Drama–Lilies of the Field; Comedy/Musical–Tom Jones
1964: Drama–Becket; Comedy/Musical–My Fair Lady
1965: Drama–Doctor Zhivago; Comedy/Musical–The Sound of Music
1966: Drama–A Man for All Seasons; Comedy/Musical–The Russians Are Coming, The Russians Are Coming
1967: Drama–In the Heat of the Night; Comedy/Musical–The Graduate
1968: Drama–The Lion in Winter; Comedy/Musical–Oliver!
1969: Drama–Midnight Cowboy; Comedy/Musical–Cactus Flower
1970: Drama–Patton; Comedy/Musical–M*A*S*H
1971: Drama–The French Connection; Comedy/Musical–Fiddler on the Roof
1972: Drama–The Godfather; Comedy/Musical–Cabaret
1973: Drama–The Sting; Comedy/Musical–A Touch of Class
1974: Drama–The Godfather, Part II; Comedy/Musical–Harry and Tonto
1975: Drama–One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest; Comedy/Musical–Shampoo
1976: Drama–Rocky; Comedy/Musical–A Star Is Born
1977: Drama–Julia; Comedy/Musical–Annie Hall
1978: Drama–The Deer Hunter; Comedy/Musical–Heaven Can Wait
1979: Drama–Kramer vs. Kramer; Comedy/Musical–All That Jazz
1980: Drama–Ordinary People; Comedy/Musical–9 to 5
1981: Drama–Chariots of Fire; Comedy/Musical–Arthur
1982: Drama–Gandhi; Comedy/Musical–Tootsie
1983: Drama–Terms of Endearment; Comedy/Musical–The Big Chill
1984: Drama–Amadeus; Comedy/Musical–Ghostbusters
1985: Drama–Out of Africa; Comedy/Musical–A Chorus Line
1986: Drama–Platoon; Comedy/Musical–Hannah and Her Sisters
1987: Drama–The Last Emperor; Comedy/Musical–Broadcast News
1988: Drama–Rain Man; Comedy/Musical–Working Girl
1989: Drama–My Left Foot; Comedy/Musical–Driving Miss Daisy
1990: Drama–Dances with Wolves; Comedy/Musical–Cyrano de Bergerac
1991: Drama–The Silence of the Lambs; Comedy/Musical–Beauty and the Beast
1992: Drama–Unforgiven; Comedy/Musical–The Player
1993: Drama–Schindler’s List; Comedy/Musical–Sleepless in Seattle
1994: Drama– Forrest Gump; Comedy/Musical–Four Weddings and a Funeral
1995: Drama–Braveheart; Comedy/Musical–Toy Story
1996: Drama–The English Patient; Comedy/Musical–Fargo
1997: Drama–Titanic; Comedy/Musical–The Full Monty
1998: Drama–Saving Private Ryan; Comedy/Musical–Shakespeare in Love
1999: Drama–American Beauty; Comedy/Musical–Notting Hill
2000: Drama–Gladiator; Comedy/Musical–Chocolat
2001: Drama–A Beautiful Mind; Comedy/Musical–Gosford Park
2002: Drama–The Hours; Comedy/Musical–Chicago
2003: Drama–The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King; Comedy/Musical–Lost in Translation
2004: Drama–Million Dollar Baby; Comedy/Musical–Sideways
2005: Drama–Crash; Comedy/Musical–The Producers
2006: Drama–The Departed; Comedy/Musical–Little Miss Sunshine
2007: Drama–No Country for Old Men; Comedy/Musical–Juno
2008: Drama–Slumdog Millionaire; Comedy/Musical–Mamma Mia!
2009: Drama–The Hurt Locker; Comedy/Musical–Up
2010: Drama–The King’s Speech; Comedy/Musical–The Kids Are All Right
2011: Drama–The Help; Comedy/Musical–The Artist
2012: Drama–Argo; Comedy/Musical–Silver Linings Playbook
2013: Drama–12 Years a Slave; Comedy/Musical–American Hustle
That’s right, Star Wars was overlooked yet again and Martin Scorsese still had to wait until 2006. That being said, the above list does offer a more comprehensive representation of Hollywood’s best over the last 80-plus years. What changes would you make–bearing in mind that the actual Best Picture winners can’t be replaced–to my alternative Oscar history? Let’s talk about it in the comments section below, and remember to watch the real Academy Awards this Sunday night.