12.14.11 | Irv Slifkin | Staff NotesPrint this Post
Strange things can happen anywhere, but things that occur in movie theaters tend to be REALLY strange.
Case in point: Years ago, I was a regular guest on a popular morning radio show. We would take calls each week, allowing listeners to comment on different topics. One topic we rolled out was “What is the weirdest thing that ever happened to you in a movie theater?”
The response was so great that we repeated the topic a few times.
I’ve had some weird experiences myself. Like the time I went to see a forgotten comedy called Head Office on a snowy evening in January 1985. It starred Danny DeVito and Judge Reinhold, and that’s pretty much all I remember about the movie. I was the only one in the Orleans Theater when the movie started. I sat towards the back of the auditorium. Two guys walked in a few minutes later, and proceeded to take seats near the front of the theater. About midway through the movie, something hit me square in the head—it was a sticky piece of Dot candy. The impact stunned me, and I realized I was the target of one of the two incredibly accurate morons sitting upfront. The gooey cherry-flavored confection must have been hurled from at least 75 feet away. I stood up—stunned as much by their accuracy as their audaciousness—and yelled, “Yo! What the hell is your problem?!” Both chuckled and made a beeline for the exit. Into the frosty night they went, leaving me and my wet, red Dot all alone in the theater.
I can also recall going to see The Last Waltz, the great 1978 Martin Scorsese documentary about the final concert of The Band. Sitting in back of me was a guy who decided to play along with all of the songs on his harmonica. Talk about adding another dimension to the moviegoing experience!
Then there was the time in 1977 when I went to New York City for the day. I did this often back then, to see films which had not yet opened in Philadelphia. On this rainy day, I decided to go see Short Eyes at the Paramount Theater located near the Gulf & Western Building at Columbus Circle. The film is a powerful account of a convicted pedophile (Bruce Davison) sent to the notorious New York prison known as “The Tombs,” where he encounters tough fellow inmates and corrupt correctional officers.
Not a laugh riot, obviously. But comedy—or at least an absurd diversion-- was added by one of the fellow film fans in the vast and sparsely populated theater. A man seated with a boombox was recording the film’s dialogue and soundtrack, then playing the recording back, really loud, a few minutes later. After doing it a few times from one seat, he would move to another part of the auditorium and repeat his actions. After a few failed attempts to get an usher to stop the madness, I simply gave up, and decided to sit near one of his previous seats with hopes he would never return. Eventually, about three-quarters of the way through the film, his trigger finger got tired and stopped the Groundhog Day-like process. Of course, I had to go see the film again when it opened in Philly, so disconcerting were the theatergoer’s sonic shenanigans.
And I could never forget an experience that happened outside a movie theater. I was waiting in a long line with a group of friends to see the original 1978 Superman with Christopher Reeve. It was a bitter cold night. We were at the Fox Theater, one of Philadelphia’s biggest film showcases. “You’ll Believe a Man Can Fly,” the posters trumpeted. After several minutes and little movement in the line, the crowd grew a little surly. ”For five bucks, he bettah fly,” shouted a shivering, irritated “Man of Steel” fan.
Even though it’s been several years since those radio station appearances, I can vividly hark back to some of the listeners’ calls.
Among those most memorable:
*A woman went to see a movie in a theater near the Mexico/Texas border. Shortly after the film began, uniformed men infiltrated the auditorium with flashlights. Then the lights came on, and the audience was informed that illegal immigrants had crossed over from Mexico and everyone had to board a bus outside and be taken in for questioning at the local police station. Needless to say, the cost of admission was never refunded.
*During a showing of the original Alien, a man holding his infant son tossed the kid into the air during the legendary “chest buster” sequence. Luckily, the person sitting next to him caught the kid before he landed on the floor.
*Every week, a man would go to the same movie theater, escorted by a large stuffed bear and large stuffed rabbit. And each week, the man paid admission for both of the stuffed animals, and also bought them popcorn and a beverage. This went on for over a year. Eventually, a curious usher asked the man about the weekly journey to the theater with his two friends. What he discovered was incredibly poignant: The man’s wife and daughter died in a car crash and this was his way of remembering them, as all three had regularly attended the theater together.
There’re more stories. Lots more. But we’d love to know what your funniest, saddest, most poignant or weirdest experiences inside a movie theater were. Just write to us.
