It can be debated whether having a catchy title helps drive people to the theater. But it sure doesn’t help matters if a film is badly named! The following movies certainly all belong on this ignominious list of Bad Movie Titles. Feel free to share your picks in the comments section below.
As if a nauseously pandering tagline, “These Pretty Women…are Clueless,” wasn’t enough, this movie was also burdened with an eminently forgettable acronym, short for “Black American Princesses.” Apparently.
Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever
A movie that landed on many worst-film-ever-made lists has an even worse title. Why? Because they don’t fight against each other. They team up to fight an enemy together!
Can Hieronymus Merkin Ever Forget Mercy Humppe and Find True Happiness?
Too long. Not funny. Not clever. In 2006 the movie won a Chicago Tribune readers’ poll as The Worst Movie Title Ever. No big surprise there.
Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo
It rhymes! That’s so funny!!! Wait, not “funny”—what’s the word I’m looking for? Oh yeah: unfunny.
(Bonus boner: It’s redundant; all gigolos are male by definition.)
The Divine Secrets Of The Ya-Ya Sisterhood
I don’t have anything against sisterhood—or brotherhood or any other ‘hood you can think of. But do I have a problem with inane movie titles? Ya.
Excessive Force II: Force On Force
Gleaming The Cube
You’d think that the title here is some sort of counterculture lingo. But you won’t impress your skateboarding pals by dropping this line on them. In fact, you’d just be showing your ignorance. You see, although it sounds like cool skater jargon it is actually nonsense. It means nothing.
Sure, we get it. The filmmakers were trying to be hip by utilizing an oxymoron. But sometimes intellectual use of juxtaposition isn’t really so smart. Like Spinal Tap’s David St. Hubbins said so eloquently: “It’s such a fine line between stupid and clever.”
The Human Stain
Those eager for a big screen version of Tim Burton’s Stainboy had to be sorely disappointed. Doubly so upon seeing Anthony Hopkins miscast in an earnest, yet pc-heavy, racial melodrama. Blecch.
Krakatoa: East of Java
Though it is hardly a revelation to movie fans anymore that Krakatoa is actually west of Java, that doesn’t make the title any less ridiculous.
Let Us Be Gay
We know, we know, it’s an innocent title from the ‘30s. But let’s face it, today it connotes something much different.
The Lieutenant Wore Skirts
If only Ed Wood had directed it…
No, it doesn’t. Love grows. Love hurts. Love comes quickly. Love lies bleeding. Love conquers all. Love blossoms. Love stinks. Love endures. But love doesn’t just happen.
Manos: The Hands of Fate
Entertainment Weekly named this Worst Movie Ever Made and it has garnered a 0% rating on the Rotten Tomatoes website. The title rivals its dopey plot since “manos” is Spanish for “hands;” in other words the title reads Hands: The Hands of Fate.
Meet the Deedles
Ooh, can’t—I’m rearranging my sock drawer that night.
My Brother Talks to Horses
…when he should be talking to a therapist.
Quackser Fortune Has a Cousin In The Bronx
I have a sister-in-law in Philadelphia—who gives a s**t?
Quantum Of Solace
This really polarized the Bond franchise’s faithful. There were those who hated it immediately. Their detractors commented upon how it was a thinking man’s name (“you really have to ponder its significance!”) and how, in time, the title would stand apart from the rest. Well, it has…but not in a good way.
The Sisterhood Of The Travelling Pants
This is not a film about what happens to your laundry after dropping it off at the dry cleaner. And to be clear to UK film enthusiasts, “pants” does not refer to one’s underwear (otherwise it would be yucky); it means trousers. The movie is about girlfriends sharing a pair of jeans. Come to think of it, sharing jeans seems kinda yucky, too.
Step Into Liquid
The best we can say about this title is at least it is not Step Into Poop.
Texas, Brooklyn and Heaven
These three words may well sum up Friday Night Lights, Saturday Night Fever and Sunday night supper, but as a movie title it’s hardly engaging.
There exist single-pronoun films that are considered classic. Two come immediately to mind: Them and It (The Terror from Beyond Space). Somehow those two titles inspire a sense of dread. On the other hand, They conveys nothing—and is only marginally better than its clunky alternate title, Wes Craven Presents: They.
To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar
Does this silly title pique your interest for the movie in the least? Didn’t think so. Worst Movie Title Ever runner-up in a 2006 Chicago Tribune readers’ poll.
Good name for a comic strip or tiny candies; lousy for a film.