“From the Files of Dr. Strangefilm…” Archive
Dr. Strangefilm | From the Files of Dr. Strangefilm...
In the late 1940s and early '50s the United States was under attack. Not by tanks or planes, but by a much more insidious enemy, one that worked its way across America, from large cities to small hamlets. Its mission was to infiltrate all aspects of society--home, school, tavern, and even church--and slowly gain control of the will of the people before they were aware of the danger. This invasion didn't go without notice, however, and Hollywood set out to warn the populace of this new menace, even as some claimed that the filmmakers themselves had a hand in its spread.
The menace I'm talking about was, of course, television. What, did you think I meant Communism? Well, I can see, in re-reading the previous paragraph, how one might have come to that conclusion. But while Red Scare-era Tinseltown did try to reveal the perils of global Marxist domination--and appease Washington--through such efforts as My Son John, I Was a Communist for the F.B.I., and the future case file Invasion U.S.A. (no, not the Chuck Norris one), the movie moguls saw the rise of TV as a bigger threat, at least to their pocketbooks. Fortunately, today's case is a perfect example of cinematic synchronicity, because the two terrors of the McCarthy era became one in the form of...the Twonky!
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Dr. Strangefilm | From the Files of Dr. Strangefilm...
Let's see...they've both been a part of Western, if not worldwide, folklore for centuries. They both have their fervent supporters, as well as detractors who swear they don't exist. Both seem to be able to know a person's innermost dreams and desires, favor a lot of red in their fashion sense, and like to live in places set in the most extreme of temperatures. Oh, and while they each go by many names, their most popular ones are anagrams.
With all these shared characteristics, you'd think that Santa and Satan would be the best of buddies, wouldn't you? Okay, you really wouldn't, but it does add a fascinating new dimension to one of the Baby Boom generation's most twisted movie memories. That's right, today's case is the 1959 "kiddie matinee" classic Santa Claus, a made-in-Mexico mishegas of St. Nick legend, Christian theology, and Robert Campbell-knows-what kind of miscellaneous mythology which features Kris Kringle's annual globe-hopping, gift-giving marathon under attack from the minions of the Prince of Darkness...well, one less-than-crack member of said minions, anyway.
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Dr. Strangefilm | From the Files of Dr. Strangefilm...
Folks, the doc's mailbox has just been filled to the brim since his practice began, and I can't thank you enough for all the kind words and comments. It does a heart good to know there are so many people out there who enjoy a little strangeness in their movie viewing. Of course, as Lincoln (Abraham, not Elmo) said, "you can't please all of the people all of the time." The negative notes seem to be of two main varieties. One segment is saying "Hey, Dr. Strangefilm, you sure do like picking on the U.S. Don't they make weird movies in any other countries?," while the other asks, "Geez, Doc, haven't you watched anything made since Nixon resigned?".
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Dr. Strangefilm | From the Files of Dr. Strangefilm...
Last month one of my colleagues here at Movie FanFare posted an insightful and eloquent review of that succulent slice of "70s Satanic cinema, The Devil's Rain, starring a goat-headed Ernest Borgnine, a waxy-faced John Travolta, and some emotionless zombie wearing a William Shatner mask...oh, my mistake, that actually was William Shatner. The Devil's Rain certainly earned itself a listing in the annals of bad horror films, but readers might be surprised to find out that this wasn't the first time the once-and-future Captain Kirk found himself in mortal combat with the forces of darkness on the big screen.
In 1965 writer/director Leslie Stevens, best known as the creator of TV's The Outer Limits, cast the pre-Star Trek star as the lead of his bizarrely Bergmanesque and symbol-laden shocker Incubus, a tale of seductive succubi sisters and a heroic Shatner. "Sounds intriguing, Doc," you may be saying to yourself, "Why haven't I ever seen this in a theater or on my local late, late show?" Well, there are several reasons that I'll be going into later, but the main one will suffice for now. You see..."INCUBUS ESTIS LA UNUA KAJ SEKVE FOR NUR USONA KINOFILMO ESTI FAR TUTE EN LA LINGVO DE ESPERANTO."
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Dr. Strangefilm | From the Files of Dr. Strangefilm...
Many, many years ago--before yours truly was even in pre-med--my father took my brother and me to St. Mark's High School in suburban Wilmington, Delaware, for a roller derby match between the Eastern (or, as we all knew them, Philadelphia) Warriors and their arch-rivals, the Texas Outlaws. What a thrill, after years of watching them on TV, to see Warriors stars Vinnie Gandolfo, Little Richard Brown, Otis Williams, Ruberta Mitchell, and team captain Judy Arnold live, battling a nasty Texas squad led by such banked track black hats as manager Lester Quarles and the distaff duo of Baby Rocco and Patti "Moo Moo" Calvin. Sure, all the fighting, feuding and punches seemed a little theatrical, even to my 13-year-old eyes, but I didn't care. After all, people also called professional wrestling phony, and there was no way the bad blood between Bruno Sammartino and Ivan Koloff was fake.
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Dr. Strangefilm | From the Files of Dr. Strangefilm...
Edward D. Wood, Jr. Ah, dear Ed. Where would we mavens of movie mediocrity be without the works of our favorite angora-fetishist filmmaker to dissect and ridicule? Everyone from the Medved brothers to Tim Burton to the Best Brains at Mystery Science Theatre 3000 have had their say on Wood's rather unique ouevre.
Most times, however, the focus has been on his egregious entries in the horror (Bride of the Monster), science-fiction (Plan 9 from Outer Space) and...er, autobiographical (Glen or Glenda) genres. Sure, Ed may have been out of his depths there, but what if the cross-dressing director tried his hand at crime drama, with a gritty, noir-flavored thriller featuring just a touch of "Dragnet's" police procedural technique? Well, it so happens that Wood did just that in 1954 with a little ditty called Jail Bait, and it turned out every bit as amateurish as his more talked-about turkeys.
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Dr. Strangefilm | From the Files of Dr. Strangefilm...
If there is one disease afflicting moviedom that your good doctor would like to see eradicated in his lifetime, it would be misleading film titles, a bane to audiences around the world. By way of a few examples: The Squid and the Whale was not the deep sea beatdown you’d expect from its name; the little Swedish kid in My Life as a Dog never turned into a dog; in Abbott and Costello Go to Mars, Bud and Lou actually went to Venus; Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter wasn’t; and don’t even get me started on How to Make an American Quilt.
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Dr. Strangefilm | From the Files of Dr. Strangefilm...
Say what you will about the Academy Awards--and a lot has certainly been said over their 80-plus year history--but by and large they have done a fairly good job of honoring the best talent that Tinseltown has presented on the screen. Oh, sure, there have been overlooked stars from Marilyn Monroe and Richard Burton to John Travolta and Johnny Depp, but most of the biggest names have taken at least one Oscar home: Bette Davis, Humphrey Bogart, Meryl Streep, Robert De Niro, Sean Penn, Bill and Coo, Kate Winslet...
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Dr. Strangefilm | From the Files of Dr. Strangefilm...
The E! cable TV channel (Please don't ask me what the "E" stands for these days. I'm pretty sure it used to be "Entertainment," but judging from what's on there now that can't be right.) recently rebroadcast its True Hollywood Story installment on the Hilton Sisters. Now, some of you out there may have watched the sordid riches-to-riches saga of Paris and Nicky, but kindly ole' Doc Strangefilm will not stand for such a gross usurpation of nomenclature. Six decades before the heiress siblings were foisted on the public, America was already being entertained by a pair of Hilton Sisters. Violet and Daisy Hilton were definitely just as good at acting and singing as Paris and Nicky. What's more, they had the additional showbiz hook of being conjoined twins!
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Dr. Strangefilm | From the Files of Dr. Strangefilm...
It was Russian author Leo Tolstoy--or perhaps the producers of Jon & Kate Plus Eight--who said, "Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way." This time-tested maxim has also been co-opted by certain cineastes to explain their strange fascination with bad films, from bargain-basement, no-star flops (Teenagers from Outer Space) to big-budget fiascoes (Heaven's Gate) to critically savaged but inexplicable blockbusters (pretty much anything by Michael Bay). There is, however, another type of movie misfire whose appeal is a little more subjective and harder to define: works whose concepts are so twisted, whose execution almost lived up to the word, and whose very existence will have the most diehard David Lynch devotee scratching their head in bewilderment. These are the video oddities that the one and only Dr Strangefilm has dedicated his life to uncovering and sharing with the public.
Case #001: "The Terror of Tiny Town"
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